heart my family

thursday, april 29
i know it's a repeat, but so thankful for e when it comes to bathtime. it's funny trying to squeeze 4 people into the bathroom but bathtime is one of my favorite things to do as a family. weird? yeah. but it's totally us.

wednesday, april 28
i stumbled upon this blog, and it both validated my feelings and scared the living daylights out of me. e and i joke that belly is 2 going on 12, but seriously, she acts old for her age. and many of the, shall we say, qualities, of a three year old talked about in this blog post sound eerily similar to how belly behaves. a lot of the time. she will be three in about 2 months, so maybe this is par for the course? and maybe since she's starting hers so early, the craziness of the three year old will go away before her fourth birthday? one can only hope.

anyway, here are some of my favorite excerpts, in case you haven't clicked over to the blog.

Tina Fey was on David Letterman recently. When he asked about her four-and-a-half-year-old
daughter, Tina talked about how much fun it was to have a child that age: they say funny things, they ask good questions... but also, "they stop being little three-year-old jerks."

Our firstborn, she is smart and funny and sweet and kind and all the wonderful things we'd hoped to have in a child. But, holy hell, she is also three.

I try hard not to rely on the Disney Channel and Nick Jr., but after pounds of Cheerios and Goldfish crackers are flung on the floors, and the cats are wearing sparkly headbands, and the baby is covered in My Little Pony stickers, and every pot and pan in the kitchen has been moved to the bathroom "so the cats have somewhere to sleep" (sometimes, it's just easier not to ask questions), it's either I cower under the dining room table and try to be invisible, or I flip on the television, albeit to the wrong show on the wrong channel. Because when you're the mother of
a three-year-old, there's very little you can do right, and there's endless commentary on just how wrong you got it.

maybe only other parents will get this, but so thankful i'm not the only one out there feeling completely at a loss when it comes to my (almost) three year old.

tuesday, april 27
why can i never leave target without dropping serious cash? i should be banned, for the health of my wallet. this trip netted 3 packs of diapers (because if you bought 2, you got a $5 gift card. and who can resist something free?); baby detergent; adult detergent; toilet paper; cereal; lotion; and beach pail set. let's forget about the trip i made to target just last week, which came up to about the same amount for a bunch of stuff that i can't even remember now. oops.

earlier in the evening, i took belly and bulilit out to play while we waited for their daddy to get home from work. while the kids played happily in the mulch, i sat on the swing and remembered how fun it really is.

tired

quick post because i'm buried in work and mentally exhausted...

monday, april 26
thankful that miami is 6 weeks away. (yay sis2be bachelorette party!) i'm in definite need of a vacation and time away from the kids will be heaven (though i'm sure i'll miss them, and my husband, something fierce.) but sooo looking forward to girl time with people i really like. haha.

sunday, april 25
since we spent the day at home -- something we haven't done in too long -- i was very domestic. i had forgotten how much i actually like some household chores (my favorites being laundry and cleaning kitchen countertops/stoves, i know, weird). i think it's that feeling of accomplishment once the job is done. none of this lingering uncertainty -- with chores, there's a finality to it. a moment when you can say, 'there. it's done.' and be pleased with your work. like planning an event and seeing it come to fruition. and unlike parenting. haha.

also, i had forgotten how much i love my guilty pleasure... high school musical 3. i sat in my dark bedroom at 11pm watching, smiling and singing along in my head.



p.s. it also reminded me of when belly was a baby and - no lie - loved the whole hsm franchise so much that we actually took her to the theatre during hsm3's opening weekend. and, the first time she watched the dvd of hsm3, she started dancing around my parents' living room, insisting that her nanny spin her around just like gabriella.

saturday, april 24
went to confession and there was no line! our parish priest was hanging out, waiting for someone to come in. so i was in and out in literally 3 minutes.

after mass, we had dinner at jason's deli. it was the first time e and i felt like we had dinner reasonably under control. bulilit was flirting with the 2 little boys at the table next to us, both kids ate their body weight in food and e and i looked at each other in amazement, acknowledging the general feeling that, now that the kids are getting older, eating out may not be as painful as it used to be. that it could actually be fun.

friday, 4/23
uh, duh, ballet for the girls. but today's class was ~special~ ... i was watching the girls dance (or not dance, as the case may be), and turned away as they were putting away the ballet barres so i could respond to a text from my boss. i look up and see the teacher carrying belly who is sobbing. i turn to the mommy next to me and say, "ok, i'm awful and totally missed that. what happened?" apparently, belly got herself stuck between barres as they were putting them away and the other kids kept pushing and pushing, leaving belly squished. ahh, the dangers of ballet.

i was also thankful today for lots of visitors--surprise and expected. former nanny came to visit with new baby boy, and the girls were very nice with him. belly even bounced him in her old bouncy and was singing him to sleep. then, sis2be arrived earlier than expected at the airport and since she had a 3+ hour layover, I picked her up so she could see the girls (and her own sister, who was in the area too) and have lunch. bulilit was showing off her walking skills for her auntie.

speaking of bulilit... it's never a good sign when the kids are quiet, but it was adorable to watch bulilit occupy herself for a good half an hour playing with a bottle liner and pail. when she then moved on to something a little more destructive -- which she tends to do on occasion (ok, more like all the time) -- you can't get mad at her because she looks up at you with the brightest eyes and cutest smile. melts my heart every. single. time.


thursday, 4/22
i'm sitting outside on the playground while the kids play and i work. i love that the playground is right behind our house and that my wi-fi extends out here. :)

i know i appear super focused with my laptop on my lap, but why is it so hard to crack that neighborhood mommy circle? (e would say it's because i'm too shy.) i just think it's funny that all the neighborhood kids and their moms know my kids' names... but probably have no idea what mine is.

after a couple hours playing on the playground -- and letting belly and bulilit roam the grassy hills on their own -- i deposited them both in the tub. thankfully, e got in with them and distracted belly enough for her to stop crying and screaming. (i tease that she's just like her ninong, who hated baths with a passion as a kid.) bulilit, on the other hand, needs no encouragement and the other day almost went head first into the tub in her excitement to get into the bath. hilarious. when i went to pull her out last night, she looked at me with her best, "i don't think so" look and firmly shook her head. as we finished getting them ready for bed, i realized my kids get their hair blow dried more than i do.



wednesday, 4/21
have i mentioned how much i love cuddling with my kids? belly gives me hugs and cuddles almost whenever i ask, but bulilit is a little more stingy about it. so cuddling with her is extra special. and it's so cute to watch her exploring her new independence gained by toddling around on her own. the smile on her face as she realizes she's getting further and further is beyond compare.

also had a long chat with my brother ... happy that even though they are thousands of miles away and the girls don't get to spend as much time with him as they used to, we can still talk and gossip and bounce ideas off each other. (yes, cheesy, i know.)

one more thing i was thankful for on tuesday... i was really ready to throw my hands up in frustration and surrender, because life is really overwhelming right now. my cousin forwarded me an email that contained this chart, which, at the moment, was EXACTLY what i needed to read/hear. god truly does work in mysterious ways...

rainy days

i'm sitting in the dining room, sipping coffee and listening to my kids playing happily downstairs. i love days like this.

yesterday, e decided to work from home so he could concentrate and not be distracted at work (to which i thought, really? because it's so much less distracting in a house of toddlers). but he actually DID get work done, and the kids played nicely by themselves. because he does it so infrequently, i really, really appreciate when he works from home. because at 4:45 yesterday, he took belly out to the playground and then proceeded to keep both girls busy until i had dinner ready at 6:15.

of course, though, the day could not go by without drama... because belly took her nap so late, she wasn't tired when it was time for bed at 8. she told me she was hungry and wanted "noodles and soup" even though - for once - she finished her entire dinner (but maybe that's because it was her favorite, piccadillo and rice). so i gave her a banana instead and she ate the entire. thing. which she normally never does. so i'm laying with her and i notice at 9pm she's still not asleep. and i have a laundry list so long of my "to-do's" that i can only get done once she's sleeping. so in my frustration, i yelled at her (not my proudest mom moment), put her in her own bed, locked the gate at the top of the stairs and went downstairs. left her up there, crying, for about 10 minutes. as i was cleaning up the kitchen, i can hear a phone ringing... turns out she had grabbed my cell phone and was calling her grandparents for comfort, to tattle tale, i dunno. she tried every one of their numbers, getting voice mail. she must've given up because i heard the crying stop all of a sudden and, "mommy? mommy! i'm done crying now, come and sleep with me." i guess at that point, my dad called her back and i could hear my mom telling her that "mommy would be back." (she had no idea what was going on, since all ella was saying was, "i want mommy!") even though i was still upset, i couldn't help laughing. apparently my daughter is not only strong-willed but pretty resourceful.

the sleeplessness then spread to bulilit. who, by the way, loves our love sac so much that she doesn't really sleep anywhere else. but last night she decided she didn't want to sleep and kept daddy up until 2:30. not very helpful when daddy still had work to do and, oh yeah, sleep to get. i attribute it to teething, a tummy ache and walking. i remember reading somewhere that once babies learn a new 'thing,' they would rather forego sleep to practice their new skill. so because bulilit is finally toddling all over the place - without the help of a walker - i think she wants to be up and practicing. funny thing is, she would rather walk while holding on to things (i.e., her juice cup, a ball, whatever) than by herself!

p.s. i'm starting to think this blog was inaccurately named (as my husband and brother like to point out since i don't blog every day). not because of the number (or lack) of posts, but because it's seriously all about my kids. i've found though that this is a nice way to remember all the millions of little things that make up a life, and the memories are too precious to lose. okay, end sappy thought.

distracted

typing this up as i watch my new moon blu ray for the first time since i bought it. haha...

today began pretty crappy, but definitely turned into a very good day. belly played by herself, drawing pictures and reading books to herself, out loud. then she shows me the pictures and she's drawn legit happy faces. one of them even had little stick arms and stick legs and she proudly told me, 'this is bulilit!' ah-dor-able.

i took the kids to the playground after nanny left, and bulilit did her usual circuit of climbing up the stairs, inching her way backwards toward the slide and then sliding down the curvy slide on her belly, feet first. she did it literally 10 times. again, ah-dor-able.

because it was so nice outside, we decided to have a picnic dinner. so as soon as e got home, we pulled out the picnic basket, wrapped up all the food, grabbed a blanket and laid it out in the sunshine. it was awesome. belly ate an entire piece of fried chicken by herself -- and bulilit must've been jealous because she too grabbed a chicken leg and was chomping on it. one of the best evenings i've had in a while.

sunday, april 18

• good deals at old navy and children's place
• words with friends on my ipod touch

saturday, april 17

• breakfast at bk. those burger shots are just the right size for the kids. too bad it's so not healthy.
• car wash for my mommy car. finally seeing the sleek silver instead of the sticky, yellow-green pollen.
• spa week - got a facial for the first time in 3 years and my skin feels all baby soft

ok, back to new moon!

Four posts in one!

Friday, April 16

It's Friday, so you know I'm thankful for ballet for belly and her cousin, ballerina. :) (am i allowed to repeat the exact same thing every friday?)

on the way to ballet though, i had my first official soccer mom feeling. so, thankfully i am not in a minivan (because let's get serious, i will never be a minivan mom so help me God) but i had belly in her carseat, we were listening to her kids songs CD, we were on our way to pick up ballerina and we were on our way to ballet. i'm so suburbia, i can't stand it. (but you all know secretly i love it.)

Thursday, April 15
I watched the two most recent Vampire Diaries episodes (Let the Right One In and Under Control) after putting belly to bed. oh-em-effing-gee. seriously? seriously, kevin williamson? these last two epis have blown. me. away. e comes up while i'm watching and is silently laughing at my jaw, which was hanging open for about 40 minutes straight. and then he commented that elena is hot. (well duh, i don't watch this show only for the storylines. it helps that the boys are yummy.)

ANYWAYS... we had a good dose of laughter at dinner. bulilit was eating a mango which i cut up for her (and, ahem, one tiny piece may have slid right down her throat without being chewed). i decided to give her the pit and let her bite around the flesh that was left on it (you know us filipinos) ... well let's just say that a slippery mango + baby who is still learning fine motor skills = a hilarious scene. the mango pit literally flew out of her hands as she tried to grab it. it was awesome; wish i had thought to video record it.

then, when i was putting belly to bed in the quiet stillness of the room as she's staring up at the ceiling, she says to me in all seriousness, "mommy, i'm still hungry... " i'm about to ask her what she wants to eat (she didn't eat *that much dinner) when she turns to me and says, "i think i'm going to eat mommy. nom nom nom."

Love. It.

Wednesday, April 14

confessions of a bad mommy ... bear and his mommy came over to play with his cousins and while we were waiting for him, belly, bulilit and i were playing outside, blowing bubbles, drawing and riding tricycles. once they got here, we headed out to the playground so belly could ride the big swings. i was pushing her and she turned around to tell me to push harder - just as i pushed her again - and ZOOM. off belly fell, into the mulch, straight on her back. uncontrollable crying ensues.

after the playground, we head back out to her front stoop and the kids are drawing on the sidewalk, bulilit pushing her sister's tricycle to practice her walking. i really should be paying better attention because next thing i know, i see (unfolding in slow motion of course) bulilit stumble, grab at the tricycle, which proceeds to fall on her - and THWACK. head on sidewalk. seriously, i think i need to put a permanent helmet on that girl based on the sheer number of times she's fallen on/hit her head.

today, i'm seriously thankful that kids are so resilient.

Tuesday, April 13

E's parents are in town, so I get a much needed break from the kids. I run out to my favorite store to do a few returns and pick up a few things and as I'm walking back to my car, i notice a familiar look car. turns out my aunt is in target too, so i head back in and we end up chatting for 45 minutes. what i love most about her is that she's one of the few people who will tell me straight up her thoughts and opinions on things and i know she's only telling me for my own good. even though it's hard to hear. but i love her for that.

i then went to meet up with bear's mommy for dinner and a catch up session with her. it's so easy to talk to her and we had a nice evening of chit chat and lots of laughs, per the usual. and mmm, chipotle for dinner.

so, thankful for good people in my life who are always willing to listen. because sometimes that's all i need.

groundhog day

yes, i realize it's april 12 and not february 2. but lately, it's felt like every day is just a repeat of the last. i joked once with my cousin that my life wasn't very exciting -- rather mundane and routine actually -- and said my motto was "lather, rinse, repeat." oh, how i'm longing for the days of normalcy and uneventfulness.

To recap the last week and half, i've made 3 trips to the doctor for 2 different kids within the span of 1 week. let's not forget that because i'm so attached to the pediatric practice i grew up with, i decided to bring my kids there, despite the fact it is 16 miles away and 25 minutes on a good day (and let's be serious, when does going east along 66 ever go as fast as it should??).

but belly and bulilit do make it interesting so i gotta give credit where it's due. the two of them will vacillate between making each other laugh hysterically by blowing raspberries to yelling at each other ("mommy, bulilit just pinched me!" "Agh!" "mommy, bulilit won't hold my hand!" "Agh!" "mommy, bulilit is spilling her juice on her car seat!" "Agh! Agh! Agh!")

The last trip to the doctor, on Friday, yielded this conversation on the way home:

Belly: Mommy, I'm hungry for dinner. (Right, because it's now 6:30 and in the rush to get to the dr's office, mommy didn't pack any snacks for the car even though it was prime dinner time.)

Me: I know you are Belly. I'm trying to get home as soon as possible but there are all these cars on the road. (You guessed right, I was on 66 West, battling it out with the regular commuters.)

Belly: But I'm hungry now.

Me: Yes, and as soon as we get home, I'll make you some chicken and rice (note: we had chicken and rice for lunch since it was freshly cooked at that point and I had made enough to last for dinner as well.)

Belly: Chicken and rice AGAIN? (yes, you are are your father's daughter. have i mentioned that i'm probably the only one in the house who eats leftovers?)

When we get home, I fix up two bowls of chicken and rice. Bulilit comes at me with her mouth open wide, like I can't shovel the food in her mouth fast enough (compare to the previous night, trying to feed her wild rice and her mouth stays clamped shut while the head shakes furiously).

Belly, after eating about 3/4 of her bowl tells me she's done. So I say, ok, how about one more big bite? And she says, no, how about 4 more? I think I like negotiating with toddlers!

Anyway, what a long-winded intro into my thankful list. Thanks for sticking with me (if you've made it this far!):

Friday: Isn't it obvious? Conversations with toddlers and interactions among sisters. Oh also, spring session for ballet has started and the girls got to dress up as fairy princesses this week.

Saturday: After putting the girls to bed, E and I went to Fridays and I had a real drink (wine and sangria don't count). Too bad I'm alcohol illiterate and didn't realize what I ordered until it arrived to the table. What can I say, I saw "tropical mojito" and even if it came in a pitcher I still would've ordered it. But really, I was thankful for alone time (finally!) with my husband, laughing and being stupid and remembering what it was like to be out on a saturday night!

Sunday: Spending time with my sis2be, who flew in the previous night. (Yes, cheesy!) And naps. Lots of them while cuddling with a sick baby.

Monday: A beautiful spring day and Orange Milano cookies with milk.

random collection of thoughts

still need to go back and update links and pictures to my previous post. apparently i suck at blogging on a regular basis. who knew?!

the past few days, i've had a very hard time finding things to be happy about or to be thankful for... belly is seriously testing my patience and generally has been acting like a brat for the better part of 2 months ... bulilit is teething and clingy ... both have bad-sounding coughs and runny noses that resemble faucets more than a facial appendage ... and looks like e and i have finally succumbed to their crazy colds. ugh.

however, i still need to dig through the mundane routine that is my life nowadays to find something, anything to be happy about. and -- surprise surprise -- the kids usually provide that small glimmer of laughter and light-heartedness.

par exemple, bulilit doing things she's not supposed to, and when you try to scold her, she smiles her little "i'm a perfect angel, you can't be mad at me about anything!" smile and you forget that she's doing something potentially dangerous (like sticking plastic juice box straws into outlets).

or belly and bulilit standing up on the bed and playing ring around the rosie.

or belly, who complained to her grandma today about how mommy isn't taking her to the zoo* and she wants grandma to "get me out of here!"

*note, i, admittedly, made the mistake of asking belly if she wanted to go to the zoo next week with her cousin, bear. and of course, that turned into, "i want to go to the zoo now! mommy, let's go now! why can't we go now?!" and when i said no, we're going next week, she turned into a puddle of tears.

my family figures into a lot of my thankfulness in posts too ... so am thankful that one of my lovely cousins celebrated her sweet sixteen on monday. i tease her a lot that i will always see her as 7, but i'm so proud of the young woman she's become.

spent my evening last night catching up with another favorite member of my family ... we don't hang out as often as we used to (or as often as i'd like!) but she's awesome.

i'm thankful for the quietness that descends my house after belly and bulilit are asleep. now if only e and i could reclaim some time to ourselves...

easter 2010

what a weekend. first off, happy easter everyone! belly and bulilit helped me stuff the eggs for our annual easter egg hunt yesterday. well, belly actually helped and bulilit kept herself busy ripping open the candy bags and attempting to eat the chocolate. when all was said and done after the hunt, belly had 4 eggs and bulilit had 3. they're still too young to get it though, so candy and $1 bills made them very happy. (secretly, i wish i could be satisfied with candy and $1 bills.)

anyway, i'm off by a few days (again) and this post will actually be on the short side seeing as its 11:20pm on a sunday night after a very long and tiring weekend.

thursday - thankful for a good relationship with my boss. when you work virtually, it's sometimes hard to feel that team spirit and to feel like you're truly contributing something. but the team i work with and my boss in particular are fabulous, and i appreciate the support and understanding they've given me, all while doing something i enjoy doing.

friday - thankful for chipotle's vegetarian burrito bowl (my big meal on good friday!) and for time with my dad.

saturday - starbucks grande skim dark cherry mocha no whip; music on my phone; bathtime with the girls; my mom and my husband.

sunday - cousins.